Yom Kippur 5782

  בס"ד Shluchim Sermon From the Rebbe’s Torah   Yom Kippur 5782 Humor to begin with:  A hunter kills and eats a bald eagle, and is arrested for violating the Endangered Species Act. He pleads guilty, and throws himself on the mercy of the court. "Your Honor," the hunter said, "I had no idea that it was illegal to kill and eat a bald eagle. If you let me go, I'll never do it again." "You've committed a very serious crime," the judge replies. "But you clearly weren't aware of the law, so I'm willing to overlook it this one time. However, before I let you go, I'm going to ask you to do one thing." "Anything, Your Honor," the hunter replies. "What is it?" The judge says, "It's been illegal to kill a protected species for many years, so very few people have ever eaten a bald eagle. For the record, can you please tell everyone what a bald eagle tastes like?" The hunter thinks for a moment and t

Shoftim Sermon

  בס"ד Shluchim Sermon From the Rebbe’s Torah   Shoftim Humor to begin with: I told my brother not to stand too close to the trees in our backyard. I don't know why, but they seem shady…  * The prohibition against cutting down fruit trees is taught to us in this week’s parsha . The Torah says that it’s forbidden because “man is a tree of the field .”  The Talmud asks: “Is man a tree of the field?!” Why such a blatant and outright statement?  The Talmud answers that we are comparing man to a tree of the field in this strong manner because if someone (a member of the human race — who are like “trees”) is a Torah sage who is “decent,” you should “eat from him” — meaning, let him give you his fruit and teach you Torah — and “don’t cut it down,” so to speak.  But, if he does not behave properly, it is a tree that can be “cut down” — meaning: you should not “take fruit/teachings” from him.  * The Talmud offers a very specific inference from a tree — to a certain specific case. Would

Re'ei Sermon

  בס"ד Shluchim Sermon From the Rebbe’s Torah   Re’ei Humor to being with:  My friend lost his job at the cemetery after burying someone in the wrong hole. It was a grave mistake…  — Burying the dead as kindness will be a topic of our sermon… * The Torah tells us in this week’s parsha that we should “attach ourselves” to G-d .  The passuk reads: “You shall follow G-d, fear Him, and fulfill His commandments; listen to His voice, and serve Him — and you shall attach yourself to Him.”  Rashi explains that this means that we should “attach ourselves” to His ways — which will result in our attachment to Him. “Do kindness, bury the dead, visit the sick — just as Hashem did,” Rashi says.   When did G-d bury the dead? It was when G-d buried Aharon the Kohen. The passuk tells us that “Aharon died on the top of the mountain,” and then, immediately after, “Moshe and Elazar descended” from the mountain. It does not say that he was buried. Two parshas later, however, in last week’s parsha, Ei